Fairwell 2011

Starting this blog has by far been my highlight of 2011. What started as a joke has become one of the best things I have ever done and it is thanks to you all who are taking the time to read and support me along the way. There is still a long way to go.....probably a lot of months in my overdraft and some occasions when I wonder why on earth I am putting myself through this?!?...(note read my post 'the reason behind it all' if I feel that way!)

2012 is shaping up to be an equally exciting year as I tick off the rest of the tasks. The blog is also continuing to gain media interest, after featuring in the Express & Star I am overwhelmed to have a piece in the next issue of Company magazine and also on their website.

New year is always a time for reflection, for some it will be a year they would rather forget, others their best year to date. No matter what 2011 has meant to you I hope 2012 is your year of happiness, remember only you hold the power to make it that way. I made the enormous decision to leave my job in November, meaning I have no idea (literally) what 2012 will bring February onwards. It is scary/exciting times- some may say insane but sometimes you need to put yourself in that position to let life take you in a different direction. This year I really found out the person I am and more importantly the person I want to become. I realised that I am too superstitious, never allowing myself to enjoy the moment in case it all goes horribly wrong- there's a resolution for the new year!

So perhaps when thinking of your resolutions have a read through the past post's and hopefully it will give you a little inspiration for something to achieve in 2012?

Please continue to support my list of things to do where possible. There is a facebook page under '23 things to do before 23' that you can join, follow me on twitter @thegracecollins and also email me at grace.collins@live.co.uk

Have a great New Year everybody whatever you have planned and see you in 2012! X

I cannot promise that your year is going to end like this but it is a pretty amazing photo of Oliver's favourite place!

Task 15: A very different Christmas

It is 4pm on Christmas day and I am just settling down to unwrap my presents. Normally by this time I have opened every gift, battling indigestion and preparing for an afternoon nap before attempting to play card games with the grandparents. This year however is slightly different, by 10am I was at a local nursing home volunteering and helping with their very special day. The care home deals with physical disabilities and I don't think I was prepared for the people I was going to meet. On what could of been such a difficult day I have never felt such a positive and welcoming atmosphere. All the carers were so enthusiastic in ensuring the residents had as festive a day just like anybody else and the home was decorated with your usual Christmas trees and also in birthday decorations for a lovely resident who turned 60 today.

I was honoured to meet every resident as they all got ready for their Christmas dinner, whilst each had a different disability they all shared the same cheeky personality and heart warming smile. Not all could speak well but that smile could speak a million words with how much it meant to be able to celebrate Christmas. Throughout the 4 hours there were highs and lows, one moment of laughter could be met with floods of tears and I am not going to lie and say I found it easy. I have a new found respect for any carer who have the patience and kindness to do this everyday and I think a lot of people do not appreciate the work they do. I truly appreciate being able to surround myself with family every Christmas but for some a carer is the only face they will see today.

There was one gentleman in particular that was very special, when having a discussion about the make-up I wore and presenting yourself he assured me 'beauty is only skin deep'. I havent forgotten this and found this so profound- I soon remembered that the way I dress or do my hair will not make me a better person. It is what is on the inside that counts and all the people I met today are truly beautiful inside and out.

I hope in the time I spent there I was able to make some difference to their Christmas- even with washing up not being my strong point!! All evening I have thought about what they are all up to, which is a refreshing change from wondering what my next facebook status should be or watching eastenders Christmas special. I was privileged to spend time at the home and will definitely be returning to visit them all again. I urge everybody to take one day out of 2012 to volunteer and perhaps give their lives a little perspective that so many of us need.

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and thank you for reading X



My amazing family- a lovely personalised Chritmas decoration from our neighbours



Spare a thought..

Grief is unique to each and every person. Everybody deals with grief differently and at different times, there is no right or wrong way. Before my brother Oliver passed away I had never experience losing someone close to me, in fact I had never even been to a funeral. Personally I was extremely private with my grief, on my bad days I would want to be alone and rarely would want people to see me cry, to this day I do not like people to see me cry. Other members of my family would want to be surrounded by close friends and family, others would want to try to carry on as normal. It was definitely a testing time for my rock solid family- prior to losing Oliver we were invincible and probably took for granted how lucky we were to be so close and to enjoy such happy family memories. I am pleased to say we all stuck through every knock together and could never of survived those times without each other, we still continue to support each other every day. We will never be the same again and every family occasion is overshadowed by the people missing but we will always unite in their memory as they would of wanted us to.

Christmas is an extremely sensitive time of year. Not everybody is fortunate to have families they can turn to, and this is the point I want to make in this blog entry. Whilst my blog is intended to bring much laughter and inspiration, please also spare a thought for those who may be finding this time of year extremely difficult. For some it may be their first year without a loved one, for others it may be their fifth, tenth.. Just because someone is not vocal about their sadness does not mean it is not there. So if you know someone who will be missing someone at this time of year, or who may not have many people to talk to -send a card, pop in to see them, write a letter.. You have no idea how much the simplest gesture can mean to someone who thinks no-one remembers.

Throughout my blog I will be supporting different charities as well as my main charity CRY. I would like to bring your attention to the charity TCF- The Compassionate Friends.

TCF is a charitable organisation supporting bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents following the death of a child/children. They are passionate in supporting others through forums, meetings and sharing memories. TCF has been such great support to Oliver's Dad Shaun he is now a trustee and set up the Birmingham group.

Please take a moment to have a read of their website http://www.tcf.org.uk/ and any donations would be appreciated.

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog, I hope you all have a lovely Christmas as I intend to - raising a glass to my very special Brother Oliver and Grandad George. Both missed everyday and never forgotten.

I will be back soon with the next of my challenges xx



Oliver (left) and his best mate Steve 'Phippsy' before their Christmas day pint



Task 13: Unlucky for some..

After the traumatic spider holdings I thought that my next task would be a walk in the park. One of the tasks that has always caused much discussion was number 13- the piercing. Of course, the obvious is the ears however that was the only place it was not allowed to be. Everyone had their own opinion on where it would be or usually where it should not be! I have always been quite strong minded so there was one place that shone out for me. Lots of eyebrows were raised and questions..would it hurt? what about if it goes wrong?

Up until a week before I was pretty adamant on where it was going to be until there was a few disapproving comments. I then started to think about other places, it had to be somewhere that could be hidden and wouldn't compromise my job either- that was any face piercings out the picture. No matter how many options people gave no other place would compare.

There was a particular person who inspired me to go ahead with the piercing. At the time it had been touch and go whether I went ahead (nerves were getting the better of me) but then I had a message from an old school friend. Kelly Haley- who was happy to be named- sent me the nicest message I have received since starting my blog. Kelly and myself go way back to when we used to get the same bus to school everyday and share our love of Christmas. Anyone who knows Kelly is aware she is one of the nicest people you could meet with a heart of gold and the humour to cheer up anyone. Kelly lived up to her caring nature again and offered to help with one of my tasks, aware that I was going to have an expensive few months. When I told her about my next task it seemed quite fitting she would sponsor it- thank you Kelly!

I had a week off work and was going to visit my friend Erin* in Cambridge. We found the perfect place down a backstreet (it was clean honest Nan!) called Tattoo Crazy, and after a reassuring chat with them I was actually getting quite excited for it. They advised me to have something to eat first and have lots of sugar (not quite as reassuring). In typical sophisticated fashion we had a burger, bit hard to stomach when you know the incredible pain on its way. We headed back to the place and before I knew I was exposing myself to the unfortunate lady who had the task of piercing me. Due to health and safety we was not able to get any pictures of the piercing taking place, which I was very pleased to hear.

So if you haven't already guessed my piercing was.. (NO not down there!)...my nipple!!

For anyone who has had their nipple pierced the pain is horrific. I have to admit that the lady who did it could not of been any nicer and took her time in making sure it was in the right place. One deep breath the clamp was on and the needle through. Aside from the feeling of being stabbed it wasn't too bad and I was given a mirror to 'admire' the results. I am surethere will be mixed reactions to the place and questions as to why I didn't go for my bellybutton or nose etc but I am happy with it and its something different. The feeling after I had done it was great and even though it still aches a day later I do not regret it at all.

WARNING PICTURE BELOW....

Whilst I will not be posting a picture of my nipple to protect my dignity you can briefly see the bar below as proof!

Big thank you again to everyone at Tattoo Crazy in Cambridge, Kelly Haley for sponsoring the task and Erin* for coming with me!

If anybody has any comments or idea's for other the tasks please do not hesitate to contact me at grace.collins@live.co.uk

X

Incy Wincy Spider...

Ive just woken up at 8:20am and thought..did last night really happen??? Well judging by my loss of voice from screaming I'm going with yes! I always love surprises but this was one I could of done without.

I had got ready earlier that evening without a care in the world, looking forward to the charity party my brothers friends arrange every year. This year was Halloween theme and everyone had made a big effort with their outfits, even the room was impressively decorated. A few Bacardi and coke's later and the party was in full swing. Every year a speech is made thanking everyone for their support and this year was no different. We always appreciate every one's support and it is a huge comfort to my family. My Mum asked me to give a bouquet of flowers to my brothers friend Amy and wait in the corner of the room (on the opposite side of the room to the back door Ive now realised!). We gave the flowers to my brothers lovely friends and it was my Mum's turn to make a speech. She had asked everyone to get into a circle round the stage and at this point I turned round and noticed a man by the back door, I presumed he had delivered the flowers. Everyone there gathered round and I was hoping my mum wasn't going to get everyone to do a cheesy song- in hindsight I would happily have done this instead!

My Mum started to talk about my charity blog and I could soon tell from the look on her face there was a surprise on its way. She broke the news she had arranged for me to complete number 8 on my list, frantically I tried to envisage my list but was in a state of shock. I turned round and saw the 'florist' wearing a 'Tropical Inc' jumper.........I soon realised what number 8 was (gulp!)

I have always had the strongest phobia of spiders, I had nightmares for a month after watching the film arachnophobia with my brothers and once had to call my Dad to drive round my house to get rid of a spider I found in my room. When I made the list -holding a tarantula- was one that was probably crossed off and put back on more than any others. In fact it was probably the only one that may have cost me completing all 23 things.

Before I could even contemplate my escape a chair had been set up in the middle of the room and all eyes were on me. It still is a bit of a blur but I remember drinking someones pint and telling my mum I would never forgive her. My heart was pounding, the tears started rolling and I probably swore  a lot more than my nan would of liked.

If it had not been for Stephen from Tropical Inc being so reassuring and motivation from the growing crowd I would of done a runner but after a quick chat the first spider..sorry TARANTULA....was on its way over. Never have I tried so hard to stop myself from throwing up (those who have been on nights out with me know its something I have never struggled with before!).

I put my hand out whilst also clutching for dear life on my poor friend's Natalie's* hand. Stephen put the first spider on my hand but kept it covered up so I could catch my breath. There had been a few screams and more tears by this point......

What am I doing here?

Done it!!!!!!!!!

I finally came to terms with having the spider on my hand and feeling quite proud that it was done. But it was never going to be that easy....before I knew it another spider was being brought towards me. Natalie* soon dropped my hand and my right hand woman was gone. I would like to thank the person who shouted out if it was bigger- yes was obviously the answer! Then someone else asked if it was poisonous- yes again! The feeling of not being able to breath and sickness had made a return (not that it had ever really left) and another spider was in my hand..

So I'm now sitting with 2 spiders on my hands and not quite sure how I have ended up in this situation. Everyone took pictures and shouted support and the nightmare was nearly over.....or so I thought....that's right out came tarantula number 3! And as you've guessed it they kept getting bigger and a lot more active. The first spider was still sitting nicely on my right hand but the second one and soon to be third had other ideas....

Its apparent that none of my tasks were ever going to be as straight forward and as my mum asked if I was willing to have one of my head I knew there was a 4th on its way. It soon dawned on me I didn't have much more space on my body and panic struck. Luckily, it wasn't put on my head, but still a bit closer to my face than I would of liked.

After the longest 20 minutes of my life all 4 spiders were safely removed from my body and I had a celebratory tequila and sambuca to calm down. If I have learnt anything from the experience last night... never trust my mum and I am STILL scared of spiders.

A massive thank you to www.tropicalinc.com who made the horrific experience remotely bearable.
To everyone who supported me during the longest 20 minutes of my life.
To the person who gave me their pint
AND FINALLY..to my mum for making me face my fear in the most amazing way. Having planned it I would probably never of done it so even though you are not yet forgiven you made sure I completed it.

WELL DONE to everyone who had the opportunity to hold one of the spiders too, I am glad you all got to experience it too and do something you have never done before.

And for all those who think I have exaggerated my fear please follow this link to watch a clip of the moment I found out-

https://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?v=10150513906943356

(fingers crossed it works)

 

The Reason Behind It All...

A lot of people have asked why I decided to make a list of things to do and the significance of turning 23.

I am relatively private person when it comes to my family but this week seemed most poignant to explain to people my reasons. On the 23rd March 2006 my beautiful brother Oliver passed away in his sleep, he was just 23 years old (caught on with the 23 now?)

Ever since that day I have seen my life completely different. It is very true that you don't know what you have got till its gone...but I can hand on heart say I did know what I had, I just never expected to lose it. I had an amazing childhood with my 3 brothers who were extremely patient with me and included me in everything. We always had fun and i can recall endless funny stories of the 16 years I spent with Oliver. He was the typical big brother- protective, loyal and loved to spoil me. We were not angels by any means and fought more than we got on but I could never imagine my life without him. I don't think I will ever face that reality. But if Oliver taught me anything it was to live life to the full. I always inspired to be like him and he seemed to have no fear. Whatever he wanted he fought hard to get it, and I always carry that with me.

When I turned 22 it soon dawned on me that my next birthday would be 23 and I would be the same age as Oliver. Nothing will ever change him being my big brother (his 6ft4 statue wouldn't change that either!) but it proves how short life is. I owe it to Oliver to live my life to the full and have no regrets, just like I am sure he would. So I had a fantastic idea to make a list of everything I want to do (realistically in 8 months) to remind myself I am alive and I only get one shot at this. Life is not meant to be easy but people can get so swept up in money, work and materialistic objects they forget you're meant to be happy- you work to live, not live to work.

If by the end of my 23 things I have inspired one person to do something they have never done before, given a few people a laugh after a hard day and raised some money for charity then my job here is done!

So I ask everyone on Wednesday 19th October, what would of been Oliver's 29th birthday, to do one thing they have never done before, not matter how big or small. You only get one shot at life and if you live it right, once is enough.

And to end on a nice note, here is a blast from the blast....

(L to R, David, Me (infront), Charlotte, Nick, Adam and Oliver)

Keep reading my blog for the rest of the journey :-) xx

Strictly Confidential

Its 8 am and my friend Paige* has handed me a blackcurrant shot (yes this is same friend who set me up on the blind date). Were on a train to London ready to attempt to get into the BBC studio's to watch the recording of strictly come dancing. Hour and a half later and were on our way to the hotel which was in an 'interesting' area of London. We were welcomed by 3 teenagers having a fag at the entrance and a receptionist who couldn't speak English. Food and alcohol were next on the agenda and thanks to Paige's* iphone we got to Westfield.........only to also walk past the BBC studio and see a queue already forming at 11am. It soon dawns on us that the whole purpose of the weekend may actually have just been ruined! Perhaps we were a little naive to think that even though tickets are over subscribed we could still turn up at 2:30pm (the time to the doors open) ERROR!

Frantically thinking what on earth to do it was soon established this decision could not be made on an empty stomach. Landing in Wahaca (amazing mexican  food) the plan was to eat and then run straight back to the hotel to make ourselves look glamorous and get straight back to the studio. After being turned away from the restaurant because it was not even 12pm- we were really that hungry! We had to make do with half a scone each and a cup of tea out of a small bowl. Finally 12pm came round and I was drinking a passion fruit margarita and eating burritos. Don't judge us for drinking early it was technically the afternoon and it turned out to be 1 of many MANY more drinks that day.

After a movie style dash across a busy road we were in a taxi on the way back to the hotel. Luckily the hotel had let us check in early- to possibly the smallest premier inn room ever seen! 15 minutes later were out the door and back at BBC Studio's. There was 2 ladies at the door and we were given 2 red stickers....we were definitely in baby!! It was 1:15pm and were told to come back when the doors opened. APPARENTLY you only have to get stickers earlier and then could come back at 2:30pm- that would of been useful information when we were suffering chronic indigestion from 10 minutes of stuffing our faces. Off we went trotting round Westfield on a Saturday afternoon in our dresses and heels looking like hookers, potentially not helped with us putting on more make up in Superdrug and applying fake eyelashes in the toilets..You can take the girls out of Walsall....



2 hours later and we were in the audience foyer, phones and coats handed in and being lined up to go into the studio. This was the moment of truth, where we would be sat could potentially mean my face 'gracing' BBC one television. A tense walk through the corridors and a cheeky wave to Harry from Mcfly and were in the studio. We were led to the main seats and could not believe our luck that we sitting in the main area. Unfortunately our luck ran out and we had been took to the wrong area so were led to the upstairs balcony, Ouch that hurt! So were officially not in view of the camera's but had a fab view of the stage and even better the interview area with Tess Daly. Bruce Forsyth was amazing and Tess Daly looked stunning, the show went on for 2 hours (1 hour 55 minutes spent looking at Tom and Dougie from Mcfly on the opposite row-the other 5 minutes watching Robbie Savage-phwoar!!)

It was time for the interval and rehearsals for the results show. We ate the 2 kitkats we had smuggled in and contemplated where to go for some cheeky drinks afterwards- just in case Mcfly didn't whisk us out for an after party. My lovely friend Paige* had spoken to the production team and mentioned my 23 things to do before 23 and the need for me to be on screen, if only for a second. The lady offered to try and get the camera to pan upstairs to the balcony but this was probably a ploy to get Paige* to leave.We queued again to be led in to the studio but was suddenly pulled aside by the same production lady. She told us to stand to the side and wait for a moment. Anxiously we stood there like naughty schoolgirls outside the headmasters office. Little did we know that we had bagged front row seats for the results show. Yes people you heard right..FRONT ROW SEATS!! Never has the phrase 'if you don't ask you don't get' been so true! We were led to our seats opposite the judges and right next to the stage. Yes people we had made it! I was close enough to see the shimmer on Jason Donovan's face. The highlight had to be the little chat and wink with Anton and Tess Daly nearly tripping over Paige*. We clapped liked drunk seals and hoped to god we had actually been seen on screen.

I can proudly announce that we did and hear is the proof.....

Yes we are now officially celebrities and I can confirm we partied like celebrities too. 10 Vodka's and 5 jagerbombs later a spicy hot veggie pizza awaited and a club named Embargo in Fulham will always be remembered as our Strictly Come Dancing after party.


Look out for me on Celebrity Big Brother next year..

PS. That is 3 tasks down...1. start a blog, 2. blind date and 3. appear on TV

What will be next ;-)

Note to self: Never blind date!

There is only one thing worse than a blind date...a BAD blind date. I’ve had my fair share of stinkers in the past; shamefully even using a call from a friend to leave early (who hasn’t done that??) but the most recent could potentially go down in history in the record of bad dates.

I think my friends would agree that I will pretty much give anything a go (within reason!) so when my good friend (now just a friend haha) Paige* asked if I wanted to go on a blind date a few weeks ago I thought why not? My number got swapped and that night Steve* called. He seemed relatively normal and even promised 'the best date ever'. I should of known he was a little odd when he text asking if I wanted to go 'riding', quickly followed by 'riding a horse'. He seemed harmless and a few phone calls later we had arranged to meet the next week for a drink.

The day arrived of the 'date' which didn’t start off well. I had gone to the wrong gate of the park and then I had the dreaded moment of looking for a bloke in a blue top. When I finally spotted Steve* it was one of those heart sinking, stomach turning, gut wrenching disappointing moments. I walked towards him staring at the ground- hoping that by the time I looked up we had gone back 10 years and he looked less like my dad....instead I was met by the most delightful brown battered boots (coincidently looking like they were bought 10 years ago). As he reached over for a polite kiss of the cheek I understood the full extent of what I was up against- balding and bearded. I don’t want to make Steve* sound like an ogre, he seemed a genuinely nice guy, but alarm bells must ring when people cannot work if you are out for a drink with your dad or not?!

1 hour and 1 diet coke later I felt I had made enough polite conversation to leave- I could of been more imaginative than the ironing won’t do itself though. I would like to think Steve* was aware there was no chemistry whatsoever especially after he continued to talk about his disfunctional family and driving a hairdressers car (score!). A personal highlight was when he pointed out he had brought a new top on his way over which was still fresh with the creases from the packet folding. Unfortunately the cringe factor reached its peak when we came to say goodbye at my car. After refusing to give him a lift to his car (30 seconds down the road??) Steve* tried his luck at going out again. I never thought I would have the nerve to say No to someone’s face but poor Steve* was the victim of my bluntness. After an awkward couple of seconds and Steve* responded with 'really?'..'YES REALLY!'

Moral of the story, never go on a blind date unless you are blind.

Ps. Sorry Steve*! I am sure you will find the woman of your dreams very soon x

* Names changed to protect the dignity of everyone but myself

Where It All Began....

On the 23rd March 2006 the world lost an inspirational person. This person helped shape the person I was, the person I am and most importantly the person I will become...

In honour of this very special person I have pledged to ensure that I live my life to the full. I have made a list of 23 things I have always wanted to do, whether it be facing a fear, visiting a place I have always loved or something that is going to make me laugh till I cry.

So with the help of my friends (whether they like or not) I will....

1. Go to New York
2. Get a tattoo
3. Appear on a TV programme
4. Run a charity race
5. Buy a pair of designer shoes
6. Start a blog
7. Learn Welsh
8. Hold a tarantula (or one seriously massive spider!)
9. Go to a music festival
10. Bet £100 on red or black at the casino
11. Climb snowdon
12. Watch the sunrise on new years day
13. Get a piercing- not ears!!
14. Go on a blind date
15. Volunteer for a day
16. Write the first chapter of my book
17. Go to Paris
18. Streak
19. Ride a motorbike
20. Watch a whole TV box set
21. Go to Scotland
22. Learn to do the splits
23. Do a bungee jump

Rules of the list
The list can be completed in any order
All need to be completed or booked by 13th June 2012
Evidence must be provided for all
Each one of my friends has to assist with one thing

Its not going to be easy- which is the point, so wish me luck and the next 8 months could be very interesting indeed...