There is only one thing worse than a blind date...a BAD blind date. I’ve had my fair share of stinkers in the past; shamefully even using a call from a friend to leave early (who hasn’t done that??) but the most recent could potentially go down in history in the record of bad dates.
I think my friends would agree that I will pretty much give anything a go (within reason!) so when my good friend (now just a friend haha) Paige* asked if I wanted to go on a blind date a few weeks ago I thought why not? My number got swapped and that night Steve* called. He seemed relatively normal and even promised 'the best date ever'. I should of known he was a little odd when he text asking if I wanted to go 'riding', quickly followed by 'riding a horse'. He seemed harmless and a few phone calls later we had arranged to meet the next week for a drink.
The day arrived of the 'date' which didn’t start off well. I had gone to the wrong gate of the park and then I had the dreaded moment of looking for a bloke in a blue top. When I finally spotted Steve* it was one of those heart sinking, stomach turning, gut wrenching disappointing moments. I walked towards him staring at the ground- hoping that by the time I looked up we had gone back 10 years and he looked less like my dad....instead I was met by the most delightful brown battered boots (coincidently looking like they were bought 10 years ago). As he reached over for a polite kiss of the cheek I understood the full extent of what I was up against- balding and bearded. I don’t want to make Steve* sound like an ogre, he seemed a genuinely nice guy, but alarm bells must ring when people cannot work if you are out for a drink with your dad or not?!
1 hour and 1 diet coke later I felt I had made enough polite conversation to leave- I could of been more imaginative than the ironing won’t do itself though. I would like to think Steve* was aware there was no chemistry whatsoever especially after he continued to talk about his disfunctional family and driving a hairdressers car (score!). A personal highlight was when he pointed out he had brought a new top on his way over which was still fresh with the creases from the packet folding. Unfortunately the cringe factor reached its peak when we came to say goodbye at my car. After refusing to give him a lift to his car (30 seconds down the road??) Steve* tried his luck at going out again. I never thought I would have the nerve to say No to someone’s face but poor Steve* was the victim of my bluntness. After an awkward couple of seconds and Steve* responded with 'really?'..'YES REALLY!'
Moral of the story, never go on a blind date unless you are blind.
Ps. Sorry Steve*! I am sure you will find the woman of your dreams very soon x
* Names changed to protect the dignity of everyone but myself