Task 19: Hells Angels

To all the people who do not see the appeal in motorbikes- I couldn’t agree more. They seem dangerous, hard-work and the leather suits look uncomfortable to say the least. Yet for some reason it made its way onto my list of 23 things to do. I always believe you shouldn’t knock something until you’ve tried it and with 200 million motorbikes in use worldwide there must be some attraction? right?! 

Since I started my list I have been lucky enough to meet my lovely boyfriend Stewart.  Even though I had no intention of meeting anyone whilst completing my list, as soon as I heard he has completed bungee jumps and loves motorbikes I knew he would have his uses- joking! J

When his Dad Malcolm offered to take me out on his Honda VFR- I jumped at the chance. I knew I would be in safe hands and with the beautiful weather of late it seemed the perfect opportunity. I will admit I was a little nervous beforehand, not helped by the stories people kept telling me! When I arrived at Malcolm’s and saw the bike sitting outside my stomach did a little flip. The bike looked bigger than I imagined but very impressive and as soon as I put my jacket and helmet on any nerves were overtook with excitement. As soon as I looked the part I thought I may as well embrace it and for the next 2 hours I was in biker mode.

Getting ready to go..

And were off..

It was soon time to go, I took my position on the bike and as we pulled away I kept running through my head all the ‘do’s’ and ‘dont’s’ I had been told. Even though it was loud I loved the fact that everyone looked when we went by and before I knew it I was actually enjoying it! No longer was I clinging onto Malcolm for dear life but able to take in all the beautiful villages we went through. I felt so relaxed and I just wanted to keep going and going. By far my favourite part was when we hit a straight piece of road and watching the speed reach 60..70..80mph. I also loved the fact that whenever you pass another motorbike they acknowledge each other; I even gave a cheeky nod myself. It may have been my first time on a bike but I can safely say it will not be a last!

Im a pro..

So to all the people who shared the same misconception as me I urge you to re-think and if you ever get the chance to go on a motorbike- DO IT, DO IT, DO IT- you never know you must just enjoy it as much as I did.

Thank you to Malcolm for helping me to complete another challenge and being the best driver I could ask for, anad thank you to Stewart for putting up with me talking about it ever since!

Please remember that I only have until June 13^th to complete all my challenges so there will be lots of new blog posts coming soon! You can also donate any spare pennies you may have to help the amazing charity CRY at www.justgiving.com/23b423

Thank you very much reading,

Grace xx

Task 4: Triathlon Torture

When I wrote 'run a charity race' on my list I envisioned myself doing the local fun run or perhaps a 10k at best. I think my friends would class me as competitive and when I was younger I would hate to lose at anything let alone sport. As I got older though I have come to realise its not all about winning- and as cliche as it sounds- its the taking part that counts. Whilst my competitive streak has come down a notch I still love a challenge. If theres is a choice I will always take the more difficult route- what's the point in doing things by halves? Whilst it is a great attitude to have, I regularly find myself in situations questioning why I am doing this (bungee jump anyone?)...and Sunday 13th May 2012 was no different....

...let me take you back to December when I started to look into which charity event to take part in. As I searched the Internet looking at fun run's nothing was appealing so I made the very big mistake in searching 'triathlon'. A list of events came up and I struggled to find anything that was before June but not too soon that I didn't have time to train. Then I spotted the Stratford 220 Triathlon taking place 13th May- Perfect! 5 months was plenty of time to train..or so I thought.

I was not particularly unhealthy but I hadn't done any regular exercise since school and I am partial to a weekend curry and few glasses of wine! I decided the perfect way to get back into shape was to begin a boot camp. There was one starting not far from work and some of my colleagues were interested in too, I started my first session and wondered what on earth I had let myself in for. I had no idea how unfit I was and getting stitch in the warm-up is never a good sign, but as the next 4 weeks continued each session got more comfortable and I was even able to go for a jog once I got home. My triathlon training had officially began! For those who are not familiar with triathlons they comprise of running, swimming and cycling. I was in the 'Fun, Female' category so I was completing a 200m swim, followed by a 14mile cycle and finally a 2mile run. That may sound easy to some but I challenge any of you to give it a go!

Whilst the training began well, regular run's and a weekly swim I would be lying if I said I didn't lose motivation about 2 months before the event. After a 2 week break from exercise I picked up a knee injury and each run felt harder than the previous. Morale was low and my ambition to be the best in my category was replaced by just wanting to complete it! I probably didn't take the event as serious as I should of since I didn't actually go on a bike until the week of the event (yes-really!). It is no excuse but with all the other tasks taking place I barely had time to sleep let alone anything else.

The week of the event came and as I received my email detailing all the information the nerves really hit. I am terrible with nerves at the best of times but I really did not want to let anyone down or let the training I had managed to do be a waste. The day before the event I was informed that I should be 'carbo-loading' which basically involves eating as many carbohydrates as possible. This was music to my ears- finally some training I would be good at! It is fair to say that not only did I eat enough carbs to feed a family I took it as an excuse to eat anything in sight too. Before bed, I got all my kit ready, packed my rucksack and lay my tri-suit on the bottom of my bed- all that was left to do now was complete this bloody thing.

On the way there I listened to my ipod so I could 'get in the zone' but nothing could distract my nerves when we got nearer to Stratford leisure centre and I saw all the neon yellow signs saying 'WARNING- TRIATHLON TAKING PLACE'. We passed what must of been the 'Sprint Male' category as they completed the cycle and they all looked very tired. As we pulled into the car park all you could hear was whistles and people cheering- I genuinely felt I was taking part in the Olympics.

I signed in, had my number '829' wrote on my arm and leg and waited patiently for my start time. As the time drew closer I racked my cycle in its position and stripped down to the tri-suit (possibly the least flattering item you could ever wear). I made my way into the pool and had my safety brief. I have never been so nervous and could feel my heart pounding as each person in front of me took their place in the pool. We began at 15 second intervals and had to do six lengths before tackling the cycle. Before I knew it my number was called and I clung on to the edge of the pool. It was now or never, everything had come down to this and the next time I would stop would be when I finished. I was given the nod and off I went...

..I thought I was doing quite well until 2 people took over me. I tried to concentrate on my breathing as I knew swimming was not my strong point but after 5 lengths any technique went out the window and I frantically splashed my way to the end. Throwing my luminous orange swimming cap into the box I ran outside to start my cycle. I felt cold and like all the eyes were on me as I put my trainers, tshirt and helmet on. As I started to run to the 'mount point' I gave my family and friends one last wave and off I went onto the busy roads. I found the beginning of the cycle particularly difficult. The roads were busy, inclined and I had very little idea what gear to be in! Somehow I got into a rhythm and strangely miles 5-12 went very quickly. I remember shouting to myself at mile 13 to keep going as the tiredness really kicked in. The wind was against us the whole way and I could feel my injured knee creeping back in. The relief when I saw the leisure centre was incredible, and being met by my 'supporters' gave me much needed motivation for the final leg. I put my bike back in the rack and threw my helmet to the ground..

..The run was the part I had trained the most for and as I began the grassy route all I could think about was how heavy my legs were. I always remembered my Nan telling me that 2 miles was running to Aldridge and back from her house so I started to picture where I would be if I was running at home. Strangely enough it did work and when I reached the turn point of the run I knew the end was in sight. I kept listening for the tannoy so I knew I was nearly at the end, and as soon as I heard it I launched into a full on sprint. I dont know where the energy came from but my numb legs went as fast as they possibly could and as I turned the corner I saw the finish line. I had finally done it :-)

The finish seems a blur but I remember having a big hug from my Mum and being ongratulated by my friends. It was the most physically challenging event I have ever done but I knew Oliver would of loved that I had pushed myself to do it. I wish, like the bungee jump, I could say I would do it again but that was definitely my first and last triathlon! I hadn't quite finished best in my category but I beat the time I aimed for..and afterall it's the taking part that counts.

Big thank you to my family and friends for the continuous support over the last 5 months and for putting up with my constant whining!

I would like to take this opportunity to remind you there is less than a month and my list now looks like this...

1. Go to New York
2. Get a tattoo
3. Appear on a TV programme
4. Run a charity race
5. Buy a pair of designer shoes
6. Start a blog
7. Learn Welsh
8. Hold a tarantula (or one seriously massive spider!)
9. Go to a music festival
10. Bet £100 on red or black at the casino
11. Climb Snowdon12. Watch the sunrise on new years day
13. Get a piercing- not ears!!
14. Go on a blind date
15. Volunteer for a day
16. Write the first chapter of my book
17. Go to Paris
18. Streak19. Ride a motorbike
20. Appear on the radio 
21. Go to Scotland22. Learn to do the splits
23. Do a bungee jump





Remember you can donate on line at www.justgiving.com/23b423

If you think you can help with any of the tasks left then please do not hesitate to contact me at grace.collins@live.co.uk

Thank you for reading and your continual support,

Grace xx

Task 21- Together With Hope

Earlier in the year I received an email from Oliver's dad Shaun. I remember at the time my blog was really gaining momentum yet I was still shocked as to what he was about to ask. Shaun has been a member of TCF- The Compassionate Friends (http://www.tcf.org.uk/) since Oliver passed away in March 2006. TCF is a charitable organisation of bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents dedicated to the support and care of other bereaved parents, siblings, and grandparents who have suffered the death of a child/children. They offer such fantastic support to those who are grieving an imaginable loss and I know Oliver's dad would not have coped without them- for that alone I will always be thankful.

It was in the email from Shaun that he mentioned how a member of the 2012 TCF Scottish Forum organising committee had discussed my blog and its suitability to be of topic for their keynote speech, and if I would be interesting in speaking for them at their upcoming forum in May. I remember initially being extremely flattered at such request and perhaps my overwhelming emotions blurred what this actually involved. Shaun made it very clear that he did not expect me to agree but all I could think was- how could I say no? It seemed almost like fate that this would be the reason to bring me to Scotland and complete task 21 of my list. Before I knew it I had clicked 'send' and confirmed my acceptance. Within a few days I received an email from a member of the committee discussing what was involved and the nerves really started to kick in. I had never done ANYTHING like this before, I was one of those children at school who would avoid any eye contact with the teacher to ensure I did not have to read out loud and just the thought of speaking to such audience sent a shiver down my spine. I knew this was very important and being a subject so close to my heart I wanted it to be perfect. I enrolled the help of my friend Eve- who has completed many presentations and public speaking as part of her studies. We met up at our local cafe and discussed our plan of action. Just hearing some kind of reassurance that all would be fine helped calm my nerves- if only momentarily. I decided not to tell too many people about the speech to ensure there was no extra pressure on me and 'attempted' to push the speech to the back of mind for a few weeks as there was more tasks coming up to be completed.

I think I had underestimated how long a speech has to be to last for 30 minutes but I was surprised how quickly the words flowed once I began writing. I split the speech into two main sections- losing Oliver and coping with the loss. The more I wrote the more emotional I felt and it certainly wasn't easy to have to write such personal feelings. I have also struggled with discussing my emotions let alone laying them bare for 85 people to listen to.

The time passed so quickly and it is fair to say I wasn't as prepared as I would of liked with a few weeks to the day. Eve and I arranged a meeting and I showed her my first draft. It didn't bode well that I wasn't willing to present it out loud to her and forced her to read it. We worked through the feedback and I spent the following night making amendments. I really wanted the speech to be as honest as possible but still positive and easy to relate to. I found it really difficult to actually read it out loud, my friends would be the first to say I am not easily embarrassed but this was far from my comfort zone! I shouldn't admit this but the first time I read it out loud to someone was 4 days before I was due to be in Scotland! I had practised so often in my room but it is very different actually projecting what I was saying. There was many a sleepless night leading up to the event and knowing this would be the biggest achievement of my life was the only thought keeping me going.

It was not until I was setting my alarm for 4:50am that the harsh reality this was real hit. I was surprisingly calm on the way to Stirling and as I ran over my notes I was confident that I knew my speech well. I was looking forward to meeting Caroline and Elaine from the committee who I had spoke to regularly and they welcomed Eve and I with open arms. In fact everyone I met could not have tried harder to put me an ease. I would love to say they succeeded but when I saw the room I would be compleing my speech in- my heart sank. It was HUGE (well to me at least). I saw the beautiful quilts made by families who had lost loved ones with their own designs and all the amazing poems on the walls. Not only was this such an important weekend to me but it was even more important to those who came along to gain comfort. I desperately didn't want to let down the committee who had given me this opportunity and everyone who would be listening.

After a pep talk from my Mother and Eve playing 'eye of the tiger' to me, I felt back in the zone. If I was going to do this the way I wanted to, I had to do it with confidence. We had a wonderful dinner that evening but decided to take advantage of an early night. Whilst I was not happy with such an early alarm call it did help with ensuring I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow! I stirred at 5:30am and it only took a couple of seconds to realise the morning was here. My speech was scheduled for 9:30am so after lying in bed tossing and turning I got up and started getting ready. Presentation is key of course so I put on my new dress and minimal make up to avoid mascara streaks down my face! I barely ate a crumb at breakfast and nerves really got the better of me. I went outside to get some fresh air and then made my way to the room. I put my picture of Oliver on the podium and heard the echo from the microphone. I took one last chance to listen to Miley Cyrus- The Climb which turned out to be an alternative motivational song to my usual taste. As people poured into the room and took their seats I also took mine on the front row. Elaine stepped up to the microphone introducing everyone to me and my stomach had that horrible feeling which felt like all the exams I have ever sat combined with my driving test! I stepped up to the podium and looked up at all the people staring back at me. I felt like they could hear my heart beat echoing round the room...took a deep breath..one last glance at my picture of Oliver and began to talk...

..during the speech I began to relax and even spoke about more than what I had planned. I felt such acceptance and reassurance from everyone there and whilst I didn't intend to make people cry it did make me realise that my words had touched people in the personal way I had hoped. As I closed the speech incorporating Oliver's favourite phrase ' Quality' I was hit with a wave of relief which also began a release of tears. I felt Elaine's comforting arms around me and turned to see the room full of applause. It was hand on heart the most amazing and inspirational achievement of my life. I was so proud to talk about Oliver and also what his legacy has pushed me to do. Meaning that I also completed a task was just an added bonus.

The tears soon stopped when I was presented with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and gifts from a very handsome gentleman in a kilt..now this was what I call Scottish tradition!

I have contemplated whether to publish my speech on here but really feel it is something so personal to me and those in the room that day. I hope you can all appreciate that, however I am more than happy to send a copy to anyone who feels it may help them with a similar loss, and I can be emailed on grace.collins@live.co.uk.

The weekend continued to be filled with meeting such truly amazing people. Hearing other peoples stories were so touching and I cannot thank everyone who attended in making me so welcome. I am not exaggerating when I say it is one of the most inspirational things I have ever done.

Unfortunately after lunch it was time to depart as Eve and I were moving on to Edinburgh to experience more of Scotland. We immediately fell in love with such a friendly city filled with beautiful buildings- and a very nice Topshop! Saturday mainly involved catching up on much needed sleep and then getting ready for a lovely meal at a Indian tapas restaurant with a glass of wine- or two :-) (I did deserve a treat after all)

The next day we took our hangovers to Edinburgh Castle where we met journalist student Sarah Turnbull. Sarah had been in contact previously to interview me for her dissertation. It was amazing that this was off the back of my feature in Company magazine. It was so lovely to meet her and discuss the tasks and also my speech the day before. I wish Sarah all the best and thank you for taking a lovely picture..

I had the time of my life this weekend and returning back to work on Tuesday was definitely not easy but I was so excited to tell everyone how well it had gone. Receiving emails with such positive feedback has been the icing on the cake and I cannot thank everyone at TCF enough. Thank you to all the committee for giving me this opportunity. Thank you to everyone who attended for taking the time to listening to me and your openness in sharing your stories.You have no idea how much it meant to me. Thank you to David- my man in the kilt, and finally thank you to Eve for taking every step of the journey with me. You were an invaluable support and I could not of done it without you.

As always I love hearing from you, please leave a comment or email me.

You can also donate at www.justgiving.com/23b423

Thank you for reading, Grace xx

PS.To Lucy- It was a pleasure to meet you and hope the date went well!